Is it very difficult?

I just looking for cooperation, why it seem so difficult to do so? This is our job! Is OUR! not me! Why only i care the job? Where's yours responsibilities? Is there everyone have no responsibilities at all? I'm just asking your free time to arrange shift for you, you just have to send for me! Is it very difficult? Is it very difficult for you?! Please be responsible for yourself and your work!

Sometime, i feel disappoint and speechless. Sometime, i feel angry with myself! Why i want be so stupid?! Why i will face those problems? Just because i'm stupid!

What are you doing?

After having a long chat and a meal of KFC, read the news about earthquake which was happen in Japan. My heart was drop at the moment. We can't deny, frequent of the happen of earthquake is increase. Is the ending of the earth coming? Who will know when it comes?

What are you doing, while the earthquake happen? Keep nagging with your friends for the unfair that you meet? Talking about the unbalances that you feel? Who even feel sad or shame for self? Others are busy to save their life while you are just nagging with some small things?

We do not know how to appreciate everything which happen besides us. We can't see good things more clearly than bad things. Have you even ask why? Why we are just focus at those negative side when things happen? May be this already become our habit. We tend to look at negative side automatically than positive side? why? Is pessimistic already being used to label us? Why we want choose pessimistic but not optimistic? why why why?

May be there are too many bad things happen until we already feel normal with it? What's going on with the earth? What's going on with the society? There are lot of things that we have to learn. Today, 'Appreciate' is the one that remind me...

I love my family, I love my friends and I love myself.

对等的回报？

施恩莫望报。是一句名言。可是，有谁可以做到？付出的，似乎永远都拿不回对等的回报。我要的不是贪婪的关心，就算只是口头上的一句问候，也心满意足。可是，似乎好难。 路遥知马力日久见人心，说得对，相处时间越久，越来发现，不是每个人都可与之亲密。我想要的东西永远都在改变，在不停寻找的同时也发现了许许多多不同的道路。有好有坏，不管选择哪一边，只希望自己快乐。

耐性

就算知道，瞎着急是解决不了问题，可是，我还是会忍不住的想拼命地，赶快的把问题解决。。。 如何是好？ 就算每次一急就会觉得晕眩，可我还是学不会教训。反之，老是觉得自己的技巧不够好。着急的性格，不只是害了自己，也害了身边的朋友和家人。十分内疚。。。 也许是犯贱吧。。。 明明可以慢慢来，却总是要求自己，把一切事情都尽快解决，否则心里就是七上八下。。。 可是往往就会有名为‘懒惰’的恶魔出来捣乱。。。 天啊~ 该如何是好？

慢慢的，我要培养耐性。。。 学会坦然，学会潇洒。。。 加油↖(^ω^)↗

...Wake Up...

If you are a chicken, i think i can kill you whenever i want. If you are a vegetable, i can throw you away or eat you, let you being digest inside my stomach. Unluckily, neither chicken nor vegetable you are. What can i do? How you want me to settle my emotion? I feel more stress than study when I'm facing you.

Sick, cannot be your excuse for your mistake and laziness. You are the one who bring you until now. You are the one who let yourself to get sick. Please to think for yourself, arrange your life by yourself. No one can help you in your whole life. Whoever you are, have to learn how to go on in you life. As, this is YOURS life...

My heart is playing roller coaster everyday, because of you. I don't want to nag with you. You are my aunt, you are older than me. Please... There's nothing big deal in the world. Everything have it's own way to be settle. Please, wake up...

变化

人生中会有许许多多的变化，我不能希望生命中，永远没有改变，因为那是不可能的事。可是，改变，该如何面对？ 抱有平常心，怎么抱？怎么做？才能让我不受‘改变’的影响？

听见家人有事，我比以前来的慌张。为什么？低潮期后，我的自信心去哪儿了？我的坚强。去哪儿了？我的镇定，又到哪里去了？我又改哪里去找回？ 我讨厌现阶段的自己，让我觉得自己弱得不像话。。。 该如何是好？ 恢复期？什么时候？

公平？不公平？似乎是不能再问的问题了。 人生中没有绝对的公平。也没有绝对的不公平。曾经，怨过。。。 为什么？要对我的父母，我的家庭设下这么多的考验？为什么要有如此多的‘心理病患’在我的家庭中出现？幼儿时期的亲切，去哪里了？我在找寻着。。。 如果，只是如果。。。 我不想，也不能，让自己待在‘如果’的世界中。 可是，我该如何让自己平衡？该如何不再为父母的包袱觉得不忿？该如何，调适自己的心情去面对，自己患病的亲人？心情，脾气。。。 要如何调适？要如何控制？

找寻，我在找寻着，让我平衡的方法，让我放开的方法。我在书中寻找，在网页中寻找。。。什么时候让我寻着？

该如何是好？

随着时间的流逝， 对你的感觉，依然不能言语。。。 是爱是喜欢是仰慕还是。。。 我无法理清楚，只知道，我讨厌你的忽略，讨厌你的不理睬。每个人都会经历这样的一段路程，只是这路是会开花还是会不了了之，没有人懂。。。

你知道我想什么吗？你知道？不知道？对我来说，都会影响我的心情。但，更想知道的是，你的反应，你的想法。你会如何去面对？你会如何反应？

不是没有想过放弃，只是，每次都是这样吗？一定吗？是定律吗？吸引力法则，会把你吸向我吗？

现在的我，充满无奈。。。 到底，在这条道路上，我是否该往前去，还是到此就好？